This mornin’ as I was standin’ lookin’ out the window in our room, I made the statement that it would soon be 22 years that I have been walkin’ with Yeshua, on 6 February to be exact. To which me hubby said with a grin, “so you have been a woman of God for nearly two years then”.  I smiled and then laughed and said, “Exactly!!”
 
What Clint was referrin’ to in his statement was a quote by Leonard Ravenhill who said, “it takes 20 years to make a man or woman of God.” Thus, my two years! As I reflected on the past two years I was overwhelmed with the magnitude of all that me Heavenly Father has been doin’ in me life, and the level of relationship with Him it has required for me to press on; continuin’ to answer His call in me life.
 
Over the past two years, we have had a surge of growth at the monastery with four students enrolled in the Adult Character Programme; started havin’ regular Sabbath services; teachin’ K12 home school for four of our students; provided supplemental instruction for community home schoolers; and begun a seemin’ly impossible addition project. Furthermore, Henta, our Music Director/Worship Minister, has written and recorded a new CD of songs for worship, I had major reconstructive surgery to my bladder and other important parts, Henta was diagnosed with cancer – had surgery – and is now cancer free.
 
Now here is the deal, prior to two years ago, things were just kinda static. Yes, the ministry started, we committed all to God, we had our first two students, we had the fire where we lost everythin’, we accepted that we were to wait on God for direction on what to do next, but then it all got very still and quiet. For three years it was clear we were to just wait, that God was doin’ a work that would open the floodgates and we needed to be ready when He was ready to move.
 
Do I understand why we had to wait for three years? Not completely. What I do know is that God can be trusted, that I never have to ask Him “why” He is doin’ somethin’ a certain way. I only need to be ready to ask, “what do You want to come of this Lord?”, “and what do you need from me in this situation?”, and He always makes it clear. Maybe not right off the bat, but He does answer in His perfect time.
 
Fast forward to five and a half weeks ago, and I find me-self with those all too familiar questions once again bein’ asked. Only this time I have students askin’ me “why?” Let me explain…
 
I have lived with chronic pain and PTSD for much of me life, due to traumatic life events, which God has truly helped me to overcome time and time again. As I have been healin’ from my surgery over the past year and a half, I have had many hurdles to maneuver and it has been a slow process. However, five weeks ago, I had a different sort of pain begin in my lower back and travel up into me shoulders and neck. Accompanyin’ this pain was what I can only describe as feelin’ like me back was sunburned and someone was scratchin’ it causin’ it to be raw and very sore, and yet there is nothin’ to speak of that can be seen on me skin. As you can imagine this was disturbin’ to me especially as it began to get worse and worse movin’ to me arms and neck.
 
Well, yesterday I finally got in to see a specialist and after spendin’ nearly three hours with me. Goin’ over me entire history, from the car accident when I was 7 months old that nearly killed me and me ma and did in fact kill me da, to me becomin’ the mother of four of the most beautiful boys you can imagine, domestic violence, drug/alcohol abuse, rape, mercury poisonin’, major surgeries, dizziness, continuous swooshin’ sounds in my right ear, and so much more over the past 48 years. I was left with more questions than I really had answers.
 
The diagnosis? Fibromyalgia, and hypersensitivity of me chemical, mechanical, and neurological centres, and well, he is not sure what else. There are many more tests to be done and we are hopin’ we will know more once those tests are complete. Hmm…what now?
 
As I sat there with the doctor tellin’ me that I had broken the record for the longest appointment he had ever had with someone, I was overwhelmed to say the least. As the doctor put it, “I am giving you this diagnosis, but it really doesn’t help us know how to help you. At this point all I can say is you are a very difficult and intriguing case!” One that he is determined to decipher; for that I am grateful.
 
However, this did nothin’ for answerin’ the many questions I have gotten from people wonderin’ why all of this would be happenin’ to me. I even asked God if there was anythin’ I was doin’ that would cause this? Am I bein’ a good steward of my body? Did He want me to do somethin’ different than I have been doin’? Well, as I sat in the quiet of me room last night unable to sleep, I pondered on what I believe to be the answers.
 
First, for months I have been prayin’ that God’s power would be evident in me life and that that same power would move through me to touch the lives of those around me. I also, had been askin’ God to take me pain and physical struggles away. Little did I realise that my Elohim might tell me “no” that He would not remove the illness, nor could I have imagined what it would take for His power to be evident in me life, but He showed me the key is found in 2 Corinthians 12:8-10.
 
In this passage Paul shares about how he was dealin’ with an issue in his body, he asked God to remove it and this is what he got in response. ‘Concerning this I pleaded with the Master three times to take it away from me. And He said to me, “MY FAVOUR IS SUFFICIENT FOR YOU, for My power is made perfect in weakness.” Most gladly, I shall rather boast in my weaknesses, SO THAT THE POWER OF MESSIAH RESTS ON ME. Therefore, I take pleasure in weaknesses, in insults, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for the sake of Messiah.’
 
I am gettin’ the answer to me prayers!! It is in me weakness that His power is made perfect! It is through struggles, illness, and weakness that HIS power can rest on me. Additionally, it is because His favour (grace) is sufficient for me that I don’t need Him to remove the pressure of affliction. I can rest in Him knowin’ that He knows what is best for me.
 
Secondly, the Holy Spirit brought me to 2 Corinthians 1:3-5, which says, ‘Blessed be the Elohim and Father of our Master Yeshua Messiah, the Father of compassion and Elohim of all comfort, who is comforting us in ALL OUR PRESSURE (affliction), ENABLING US TO COMFORT those who are in every pressure (affliction), THROUGH the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by Elohim. Because, as the sufferings of Messiah overflow in us, SO our comfort also overflows through Messiah!’
 
What I know is that it is absolutely impossible to truly comfort someone who is goin’ through a difficult time when you have absolutely no understandin’ or point of reference that is similar to their situation. Therefore, it is often necessary for God to allow us to go through what others are goin’ through so we might comfort them with the very comfort that God gives us!
 
Lastly, NO…I am not doin’ anythin’ wrong. I HAVE been a good steward of my body. NO…He does not want me to change what I have been doin’!! He wants me to trust that He knows what He is doin’ and He will get the glory for what He does in and with my life!
 
Does it take 20 years to make a woman of God? Whether the exact time frame is completely accurate or not does not matter. What I do know is that prior to two years ago, I would not have been ready to face what I am facin’ at this very moment; especially not with the understandin’ that it is not about me!
 
I have learned that a woman of God is made in the quiet of her closet. Her life and deepest convictions are born in her secret communion with God. The burdened and tearful agony of her spirit, her weightiest and sweetest messages are gotten when she is alone with God. Prayer and affliction make the woman; prayer and affliction make her a powerful messenger; prayer and affliction make her the minister of God’s peace and joy.
 
You see, when we begin to see that everythin’ in our lives is for a purpose and that purpose is to glorify God then we can face even the toughest days with joyful enthusiasm that is contagious and brings comfort to those in great need.

As far as days go it has been a pretty quiet day. Students are all away, the staff is quiet, and me hubby is restin’. I am here with me computer contemplatin’ somethin’ one of me students said to me this mornin’. Her enquiry was in regards to Clint bein’ sick, and things with the buildin’ seemin’ to be stopped with such a tight deadline (we have to be completed by 24 April or we have to buy a new permit, which is thousands of dollars). She said, “I know this could be God allowing, but also another tactic the enemy uses. I pray for us for wisdom to know!”
 
As I pondered this I smiled and thought about the fact that yes indeed we have an enemy, and yes he is strategic in all that he does. However, he can do nothin’ that the Father does not allow. Therefore, if God gives permission for the enemy to do anythin’ He has already determined it is for our good!
 
Often times we stop and ask is there somethin’ I am doin’ wrong? Is God allowin’ this for correction or discipline? When the answer is “no, I know I am in His will.” Then what? Do we give up? Do we stop movin’ forward? Do we allow bitterness to set in and cause us to doubt God? NO!! No, no, no!! We press on toward our high callin’ in Yeshua (Jesus)!
 
This mornin’ one of me lads (son by osmosis), Anderson Miles, reminded me of a quote from The Lord of the Rings. It goes like this, I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” This got me to consider what it is we are to do with what seems like an onslaught from the enemy, which has been allowed by our benevolent Creator. As I was seekin’ direction and understandin’ for all that happenin’ here and what we are to do with the time that has been given to us, the Holy Spirit directed me to Nehemiah and the battle to rebuild the wall.
 
Wow…I have read the book of Nehemiah before, today however it literally seemed to jump off the pages at me. So, here is what is happenin’. Nehemiah gets word that there is a remnant of people tryin’ to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem. They are broken because of their past idolatry and have returned home from their captivity. Nehemiah is given word that the city is in flames and they are strugglin’ to rebuild. He goes before the king and asks to be allowed to go and help rebuild. He gives the king a time frame in which the buildin’ will be finished. At this point, his enemies hear of his plan and decided they are goin’ to stop Nehemiah and the people from accomplishin’ their goal. Multiple times the enemy puts up road blocks to stop and discourage the people. In chapter 4 verse 10 it says, “…the strength of the burden bearers is weakening, and there is so much rubbish that we are unable to build the wall.” A few verses later it says that ten times they report to Nehemiah that, “…from whatever place you turn, they are (the enemies) against us.” They were ready to give up.
 
What does this mighty man of God do? He set the people with their swords, spears, and their bows. He prepared them for battle. He didn’t even entertain the possibility of not buildin’ the wall. He told the people, “Do not be afraid of them. Remember the great and awesome YHWH, and fight for your brothers, your sons, and your daughters, your wives and your houses.” Then it goes on to say that when the enemy heard that it was known to them, that God had brought their counsel to nothin’, that all of the people returned to the wall and everyone to his work. In verses 16 - 18 of chapter four it says that from that time on half of the people were workin’ while the other half were holdin’ their spears and keepin’ the watch to be ready for the enemy. It says that even the builders had their swords at their sides as they built.
 
Then in verses 19 -20 – this is what really got me – it says, “...the work is great and large, and we are separated from from one another on the wall. In whatever place you hear the voice of the shophar, join us there. Our God fights for us!” This was such an overwhelmin’ thing for me to read. Now you might be sayin’ “Caoimhe why was that such an impactful thing”. Well, here is the deal, in every single Shabbat service we hold here at the monastery, the “voice of the Shophar” is heard, and as I read this passage I was reminded yet again, “our God fights for us!!” He simply asks for us to be at the ready and to do what He directs. We are in a battle, and yes we have enemies on all sides.
 
Three years ago, I stood in the town council meetin’ and had to respond to the questions “how will you pay for this building if you have no loan or insurance money?” and “how will you get this thing built if you have no real labourers to help you build?” My response was, “God!” I of course had to explain that He had never to this point let us down and I couldn’t see why He would start now. Further, I explained that every need we have had since startin’ this ministry He has met and then some. They shook their heads, some thinkin’ that surely we had lost our minds, some secretly prayin’ and hopin’ that God would come through and prove Himself on our behalf. I believe somethin’ happened that day, a line was drawn in the sand and the enemy was put on high alert. God will get the glory for this ministry and for the buildin’ of this place, of course just like Nehemiah’s enemies he finds it to be troublesome and wants to stop the progress. We have been mocked, we have been ridiculed, wrongly accused, we have had roadblocks put in our way. Yet we have trusted our God and He fights for us.
 
We need all who will also stand and fight with us against the enemy. We are so grateful for those prayer warriors who stand with us on a daily basis, who do not put down their swords, who are ready to fight at a moments notice. We recognise that our battle is not with flesh and blood but against principalities and powers in high places, and we know that greater is He that is in us than he that is in the world. Therefore, we press on, we fight for what God has called us to, and we do not give up no matter how difficult the battle, and we cry out for help when we are overwhelmed and the burdens are to great.
 
It has taken three years to get the place we are right now. God has met every need and I know He will continue. This leads me full circle back around to how responded to my sweet student this mornin’ when she showed her humanity in askin’, without really askin’, “why this is happenin’” – my answer was “I believe God is allowin’ this so that others will step up (this is not just about Clint and I) and so we will cry out all the more!” And like Nehemiah we will build, day by day, encouragin’ one another, knowin’ that God will be exalted in this place and He will get the glory for everythin’ that is done. Like those rebuildin’ the wall, we have a heart to work and to please our Heavenly Father, and we will not give up or lay down our weapons. We will fight the good fight. Like David in Psalm 26, we will walk in integrity and will trust YHWH without waverin’. He examines us and proves us every day and He will vindicate us and we will raise a voice of thanksgivin’ in the assembly declarin’ all His wondrous works.
 
I close with Psalm 27:1-6
            “YHWH is my light and my deliverance; whom should I fear? YHWH is the refuge of my life; whom should I dread? When evil-doers come against me to eat up my flesh, my adversaries and my enemies, they shall stumble and fall. Thought an army encamps against me, my heart does not fear; though battle come up against me, even then I would be trusting. One matter I ask of YHWH – this I seek: to dwell in the House of YHWH all the days of my life, to see the pleasantness of YHWH and to inquire in His temple. For in the day of evil He hides me in His tabernacle; in the covering of His Tent He hides me; On a rock He raises me up. And now my head is lifted up above my enemies all around me; and I sacrifice with battle cry of joy, I sing, yes, I sing praises to YHWH.
 
God is not finished with us or with this place. Please continue to fight with us as we press on with praise on our lips and joy in our hearts to be counted worthy to serve Him in this amazin’ ministry He has called us to!
 

When I was a wee girl, me granddaddy used ta say, "darlin' what do ya have to loose by askin'? The worse you could get is a no. Then yer no worse off than when ya started!"

This concept of askin' and continuin' to ask even when at times yer told no is a concept found within scripture. What I have learned over the years is that God has a desire to take care of His children, and yet there are times when the answer is "no". What we can rest in is the fact that we know our heavenly Father wants the very best for His children. So, when the answer is no, it is for our best, and He has somethin' better for us. However, there are those time when the answer is YES!

Matthew 7:7 tells us to "Ask and it shall be given to you, seek and you shall find, knock, and it shall be opened to you." This is one of the commands of Yeshua (Jesus) we teach in the programme here at the monastery. Along with this command is the character quality of Resourcefulness ~ "Wise use of that which others would normally overlook or discard"

I have watched this character quality lived out on a daily basis over the past five and a half years of being married to Clint Dunn. I could not understand at first the way he did things, because I have to be honest I was not a redeemer - not the way he is - and though I had an understanding of this concept of asking, it never really occurred to me to ask people for their rubbish (except maybe for those few times when we went dumpster divin' just for fun - but that is for another entry another time).

I have watched me husband over the past three years since the fire, go and gather wood scraps from job sites, take things off of people's hands that would have ended up in the dump, I have seen him be humbled and even ridiculed as he has sought to provide the needed materials for the new addition. I have never once seen him give up or buy into the thought that he could not somehow redeem the materials.

I remember the first year after the fire, we so desperately wanted to build onto the existing building. However, the money just was not there, then the second year came and went, we asked and kept on askin', but the answer was "NO"!! Now, here we are three and a half years later and the answer is YES! With every day that passes we are trustin' God that He is goin' to provide for our every need.

Do I understand why we had to wait three years? Wait for a kitchen, wait for a living room, wait for a pantry, wait for a laundry room? Yes ~ we have been stretched, sometimes beyond what we feel we can stand, and yet, we are still standin'! Have we had our character developed in ways that would never have happened without waitin'? Yes ~ a resoundin' YES!! 

Luke 16:10 says, "He who is trustworthy in what is least, is trustworthy also in much. And he who is unrighteous in what is least is unrighteous also in much." We are learnin' that when we are faithful with the wee things God gives us to redeem ~ even other people's rubbish ~ He is faithful to give us more of what we need.

What we have learned more than ever is that God is more concerned with our character than with our comfort, and if we are willin' to simply obey when He asks us to trust Him then we will see Him answer when we ASK and KEEP ON ASKIN"!!

Today has been a day of ups and downs, frustrations and joys. Finally getting this website published and this blog started is part and parcel of my frustration and my joy!

I am thoroughly excited to be able to bring the happenings of our day to day life here at Anamchara Ministries & Monastery. T'is 11:00 p.m. and I am exhausted. I will not make this any longer than just to say...
            Thank you for being here, thank you for sharing in our lives, thank you for your
            prayers, thank you for your financial support, thank you for just being you and for
            letting us share who we are with you!

I will leave you with this thought in order that you might understand who we truly are and why we do the things we do, the way we do them. We believe there are three specific forms of enquiries about Christianity and belief people tend to ask.

           First, some people wonder whether we really believe what we say we believe.        
           Second, some people do not doubt that we believe it; they wonder whether we live
                by it.
          Third, some people do not doubt that we believe it or live by it; they wonder whether
                it makes much difference.

This then leads us to make sure we can say without reservation we believe what we say, and we live by those things, and truly they do make a difference.

Go and make a difference today!
Be Blessed